I’m depressed, and I don’t know why, and I hate it. It makes no sense! One of my best friends is here (well, here in town) and I’ve gotten to hang out with her, and I’m about to spend most of the weekend with another of my best friends, and I’m officially on spring break as of 2 hours ago, why the fuck am I depressed?!?! I don’t care about eating, I want to cut, and looking at all the beautiful posts by people I’m following kinda make me feel like crying. How utterly ridiculous is that?! I hate feeling this way. I know it’ll pass, it always does, but I wish it would not only go away but NEVER COME BACK AGAIN! :( The worst bit? Because of the way this state of mind works, I feel depressed about feeling depressed. Never ending cycle. Ugh. >.< I know I shouldn’t, but I’m kinda a little tempted to put just a little bit of St. John’s Wort in my tea. I shouldn’t because it’s generally (in any kind of normal dose) too strong an antidepressant and it makes me manic, although I’ve figured out how much I can take without that happening. I also shouldn’t because enough St. John’s Wort combined with the meds I’m on has the potential to cause liver damage. Call me stupid, you’d be right, but right now I don’t give a fuck. This has to go away.
